dreams hopes aspirations goals target wishes

what are these actually?

i aspire to pass all my subjs this mid yrs and get a bbcc and a c in my gp and a a[or b? or c?] for my chinese.

my target is to be in the top 10 in e class.

i dream of doing darn well for my a's n get a scholarship to send me abroad to sum really prestigious university overseas so tt i can continue seeking wad i want in life and yet not leave my poor parents with a heavy burden to carry.

i hope i will have many many frens. or actually a couple of besties will just do, people whom i can count on forever.

i hope that i can find someone whom i love enuff to marry n settle down to start my own family with like 4 kids. hahahaha.

i dream for a career that really suits my interest so tt i will be happily working and paid enuff to live by.

i wish i will be pretty, smart and skinner. =)


but honestly, wads e pt of wanting such things?
sometimes its e desperation for such things to come true, that gives me e drive n energy to go on. its e tot of how much joy there will be, how much pride i will feel that motivates me not to give up.

yet on the other hand, they say that zero expectations = zero disappointment.


sometimes when i work very hard towards my goals, sometimes i feel quite discouraged n lose the will to carry on. sometimes i wonder n doubt my own abilities n thoughts of giving up will just come. i wish i wun ever give up on my dreams. =)


today i had lunch at ljs in payalebar. alone.

when im alone n there's no one to talk to, i like to observe the people around me.

den i saw this grp of working adults. they came in 2s and 3s and 2 were late n came on their own. a total of 8 of them. i sat very near them and could observe their gestures and body lang, though i coukdnt really make out wat they were saying cos well i wasnt sitting THAT close to them.

i felt quite sad lookin at them.

one lady was just eating n smiling n nodding her head at what others say, cos she's too polite or soft spoken to give her commetns, just like a smal servant waiting to serve and agree with wadever the master says.

another lady was too busy eating up her food that she ate so freaking fast. he barely bothered to talk to her colleagues and it seems that her only goal in mind was to finish every single piece of food on her plate asap.

and there was this lady who well, was quite big sized and she looks quite hostile and she came alone, the lastest one. she saw the other 7 and joined in by saying a hello n plomped her hangbag on the seat n sat down. mayb its me or smt, but it was quite obvious that the grp din really wlecome her presence and were kinda like ignoring her.


i dunno. all this made me sad. is this how the working world is going to be?

after that i went to macs, where this guy was promoting this health drink tts suppose to be really good n everything n can even cure short sightedness. den e person he was recommending the product to den questioned him, if the drink was really that good, how come e promoter guy is stll wearing specs? haha. i found t quite funny i must say.

aft hanging out 2 days at that kinda cbd area, i realised one thing.

e importance of really ding smth u wan in life. i hope i can teach [maths!]. and i also wanna be a chef. like those cooking in e classy restaurants. perhaps teach in e day n cook at night.

and i really do hope that i wun be in e business industry. i dun wanna be in a job which only aim to is make money, more n more money. yea, money would b impt to me when looking for a job,but i just wan enuff money to survive, to haf sum retail therapy at times, to be able to eat at those expensive places once in a while, to support my parents and my kids thru education... i think tts enuff.

i wonder if the above paragraph would still apply 10 yrs down the road?

mayb i would read back on this post n laugh at how naive i am..

hmm.. w'll see.