maths screwed up big time on me today. or did i screw up big time on maths?

it was freezing n my nose was all runny and my hands were all cold n clammy and before the first hour even ended, i had skipped so many question and not do so many that thoughts of giving up came to me. there was this urge, to just close e paper n walk out or just lie down n cry.

i told myself to keep going at it, not to give up. but my mind wandered. i started saying good bye to h3 maths. i started thinking about my fear. i felt afriad cold n lonely. i saw my classmates all doing e paper like it was some easy shit. i felt like crap.

it was so ironic. cos i knew that every question i do i would b stuck halfway, yet i had to keep going, keep going.

i tot about everything, the o levels and my sec 3 and 4 yrs. i felt quite depressed. like i look around me, i feel out of place. like i shouldnt be there. i felt alone n like a stranger. the class is like quite splited up n its quite sian. not like 4i. i miss 4i alot man. =( i miss the nice n good teachers, i miss mdm audra who will always make fun of ppl n her jokes also give me stomachaches. i miss mr toh co he looks super angry when he's angry but his jokes super lame n he always try his best to catch our atention n teach us the pphys den he will slowly explain until he's quite lost n we also in india. haha. den i miss mr lim cos he also another lame one w al his jokes n he always say that chem is so easy den got all his shortcut n ways of memorising things. den i miss miss yati, cos she will always motivate us n tell us not to give up. i miss mrs chao, cos she can make e most difficult maths sums seem so simple. i miss lao da, cos his lessons v funny. i miss mr tan, cos he will nva b angry at us.

haix. i feel damm depressed. n im really afraid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pls dun happen?
pls pls pls pls dun?
cos if it really does, i wun noe wad to do!

haizzz.

just now i haf some sort of relief - cos i played crraxy taxi. it was good. just going around n banging into everything. v good to take my mind off stuff. haizzzzzzzzzzz.
chi tmr. guess i shld start studying now.