which way to go now?

today i stood at orchard mrt. lost.

i sat there and looked at the people around me, their dressing and their interactions.
i felt so out of place. so different. so tired. and i started tearing.
i noe its orchard mrt n its flocked full of ppl but i couldnt help it.

i feel very depressed n exhausted.
i wanna block everyone out of my life,
i wanna give up all the stuff im holding on to.
i wonder.... where should i move on next?

i see so many couples around, made me wonder when the last time i felt really loved.
suddenly, i really miss the times i had, the fun i had eactly one year ago,
perhaps we din do anything much, nor say anything much.
but at least, i had that time and company of that one special person i enjoyed spending time with.
the things i thought would never end, the person whom i thought i knew so well.

i long for them now, so much. i think its eating up the insides of me.
sometimes i really envy ppl who are attached, but then again...
i dun think im ready for any relationships yet.
im afriad of the same things happening again.
there's still some things i just cant seem to let go of.
stupid caroline, i noe. what can i do?
except to push away the people away for now. im sorry.

work today was good, no janet around =) and the staff were really nice, plus xianling was there too. so it was really fun. minus the first hour where there was SO FEW ppl i was so bored. haha i really hate the times when there are so few customers, yes i noe im weird cos i shld be glad tt i can slack, but i really prefer the times when there is super alot of customers =)
and i fumbled again today la, haha did some stuff i shldnt do, and even spilled a huge puddle of water. heng the customer was really cool n nice abt it. but i met some really guai lan ppl too. bloody asses, who made me totally wanna like WHACK THEM with the plates. and i met eric and his gf too, so sweet come dine tgt.

ok im off to have a long good sleep. working again tmr, bet its gonna ba interesting again.