something from within

today i finally feel like writing about something ive kept within me for a long time. many a times i have the urge to pen this down but i often feared tt i cant find the right words to use, and im afriad the tone of this whole thing will come out wrong. but im gonna give it a try anyway, its been properly reflected during my time away in cambodia. i think such things are like goals, they should be written down n shared with all, so that it becomes more than something within, but becomes a goal tt the people around me can help me achieve too =)

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a
kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~Leo Buscaglia

i should be nice to all the people around me,
because i know how good it feels when people are nice to me. and i want to let them enjoy that feeling of goodness.

i should not to judge the people around me. i try to tolerate and bear with the shit i get, and befriend the owner of all the crap n try to help them change.
because i know how sucky it feels to be outcasted. because i know how it feels to have people talking bad about you behind your back. because i once felt friendless and alone. i rmb the days in p school when classmates din like me cos i was boastful and trust me, these things are obvious and i hated the feeling i got. and i dun wan someone else to feel that way.
becuase i know tt we human beings arent perfect. come on, even me myself have many flaws. i have a bad record of time, so ive rarely been punctual when meeting up with friends. i talk too much alot of times and probably irritate the shit out of some of my frens. i can be rather self centered, espeically on days when im down n i just wish the world would revolve around me. and its probably going to be a long list to come. but hey! everyones not perfect. i must learn to love the people around me for who they are, love them for their shortcomings and i think i would be able to build better bonds with them.

i should try my best to curb my anger. to refrain from losing my temper. this is why i tend to take things lightly, or as the guys would put it, tt " i will only get angry for 30s".
becasue i know that i am darn good at saying the wrong things when im angry, and doing rash things tt i am bound to regret when i cool down later. this is why i want to practise keeping cool and controlling my temper. i rmb reading from somewhere b4, " never return an angry word with another angry word. it is usually the second word tt causes the trouble."

i should remind myself to be honest, to say the truth.
because its tiring to have to constatnly remember to cover all the loopholes tt will destroy ur lie, and its even more tiring to have to keep telling more lies to cover up for the first one.
because i have lost the trust of close friends before. and trust isnt an invisible thing, once its broken u can feel it right smack in your face tt things are different immediately.

i should try to be there for my friends, especially make time for those who were once close but have sort of drifted away from. try to give them a listening ear when they need one. and make the effort, arrange n organise my time so tt i have the occassion catching up sessions with all of them.
because there were times when i was fallen n failed, been down in the dumps when i din noe who to turn to, when i din noe who would be willing to listen. and that loneliness would only make things worst. so i shld try hard to be there for my friends.


i should try to be more sensitive to the people around me.
becasue we tend to focus so much on ourselves, on having fun, of getting the best out of things tt we neglect how the people aorund us would feel. this is probably one of my weakest pts cos i always get super high easily, so the next time i do something really insensitive just tell me straight in the face thank you.

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by
midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can
muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be
the same again. ~Og Mandino