on wealth

recently finished a book, temptations by douglas kennedy.
quite an interesting story about how someone can actually go out of track because of the lures of wealth, fame and power, to the extend of sacrificing his passion family and even his own happiness.

a part of the book wrote...
"$2 million a week as spending money. Did Fleck remember what it was like to worry about making the rent? Or having to scramble about to pay the phone bill? Or putting up with a ten year old car which never shifted into fourth gear; because you couldnt afford to get the busted transmission fixed?
Did he have any sort of aspirations.. when all his earthly wants had already been met? And how did a lack of material abmitions alter onee's world view? Did you concentrate on the more cerebral things in life, aspiring to great thoughts and deeds?"

this got me thinking. i would not try denying that money doesnt have its impact on me. it does. in a way it even has an effect on me. my ambition is to shop at paragon when i grow up. i hope to own designer bags and wallets and ancessories and heels. i hope to be able to buy my daddy a cool car to drive around. i hope to be able to afford a car.

but i know that to get all these i need to work very hard, and smart to get all the bucks to buy and achieve all these. i dun mind putting in the effort, but i wonder if these goods will make me happy. if this wealth would be enough to stop me from dreaming even bigger. if there will be a limit to how much i want.

then again, before getting to that stage i guess its just a long journey ahead. and i keep reminding myself of the period of time when i was dead broke [bank accounts inclusive] i only had like 7 bucks left. hopefully i will never forget how i survived through that week.