been having alot of talks and thoughts recently. perhaps its e holiday thing, having no rush to complete e assignments and lecture notes. i thought bout alot of things.

winning and losing. life. expectations. motivation. school. hopes. happiness.

yesterday i had high hopes for something which i shld have gave up long before.. even at e final moment, even though i knew it was not possible, i held high hopes. maybe till the extent of having illusions. sometimes ppl say determination is good, but i think im getting too stubborn...

today was a different day. sometimes i wonder how we can just forget abt everything tt happens and pretend like its e past. did i tell u ive changed? did i tell u tt pool isnt a 2 person game anymore? or that i dun lean on e sides of e buses to sleep? perhaps everything has changed. it is too late to go back to e past. when i was telling cheryl tt maybe if faith helps us thru, mayb 9 yrs later we may be like old times. but today i wondered.. its been about five months and we're alr like this. i shld dream on about wads gonna be happening 9 yrs down e road.

i went to e place we alwaes frequent b4 gg home today. just sitting there, i had many flashbacks. some made me laugh, sum brought tears to my eyes. tt place has now seem to become a quiet oasis for me, mayb its e only place for me to be me.

its been a long time since ive gone to swing. maybe tml i shall go swing. anyway i shall go do up my timetable for e hols. gd night :)