beyond the threshold

pain in the past probably meant the pain my feet was feeling after a night of partying in highheels. Or from a stomach upset. Or from running or swimming too much, or from a gym session if I pushed myself to go beyond the usual routine.
But now.. Pain has been such a common feeling. Its an everyday thing already. The massive and unbearable pain in my whole right leg. And pain in my back that I can't stand straight. Today I really felt the effect of this slipped disc in my face, when I tried running fifteen metres to catch a bus (something I commonly do cos its a bus stop near home) but I stopped short halfway cos the pain was too much to bear. It has kept me imprisoned at home because I barely dare to go out since going out meant walking and that meant more pain to bear.
I haven't felt so sick before, and it scares me.. I've tried and been through accupunture, massage, pasting plasters, spamming painkillers, taking xrays, seeing sports doctors, chinese sinsehs and chiropractioner. Last fri I even went for an MRI which was the scariest thirty mins of my life ever. THe fear of being in that small space was close to being in a coffin. Seriously. I swear taking the O's and the A's and what fright night were never as intensely scary.
somehow I wish I was well. I feel so tired of all these. I wish I can be running around busying myself like how I used to, how I love to.