i did not abandon my blog! im here to make it alive again, in the midst of all my tests. blogging and facebooking and watching the tv and doing everything else taht is not relevant to schoolwork and pulling up my grades is always the best things to do when you are having a paper the next day, and 3 papers with 2 assignments due the following week :/ ok that was an awesomely long sentence, i wonder if anyone comprehend. I'm getting the hang of german, and i feel that it is affecting my english because i doubt myself when im spelling simple english words like coffee [kafee] and supermarket [su[ermarkt] since they are so similar. and i begin to link my english words up cos thats what the german do ie studentenwohnheim = student's hostel.

ok that was a long lot of rambling.

anyway i decided to blog because i was thinking about an issue the past few days. i keep thinking about it, keep rehearsing the possible scenarios in my head (and sleep). sometimes i am so afraid i might just start seeing things happening and like maybe talk to the air. but then again, i think that acknowledging this is good becuase it means i will control myself more. self control! though i wish that i have the courage to do what i really want to do, without people judging me or worrying about that happening.

ok i should go study. promise to update again asap.!